A documented chronology of what our family reported, what we asked for, and the written responses we received.
At the January 8 meeting, we presented our child's account. He said that during Latin class he stretched out his feet, the teacher kicked his foot, and after he said “ow,” the teacher responded, “Stick out your feet again and I'll show you ow.” He also reported that later the teacher lifted him and pushed his hands onto the desk and his back into the chair. This section reflects our child's account as presented to the school; the records do not establish the exact date of the classroom incident.
We told the Principal that our son had reported physical contact and verbal intimidation that caused discomfort and embarrassment. We kept him out of Latin while asking to meet and discuss how a safe and respectful learning environment would be ensured.
Dear Principal,
I am writing to formally raise a concern regarding an incident that occurred in the Teacher’s Latin class involving my child. Based on what he has shared, there were moments of physical contact and verbal intimidation that caused him significant discomfort and embarrassment. I am concerned about the safety, well-being, and overall classroom environment he is experiencing.
Until we are able to discuss this matter in detail, I will be keeping my child out of Latin class. This is not a decision I make lightly, but I believe it is necessary to ensure his sense of safety while we work toward clarity and resolution.
I also want to ensure that my child will not face any academic penalties or retaliation as a result of being kept out of class for safety reasons. I expect that he will continue to receive all assignments, homework, and materials so he can remain current with the course.
I would like to request a meeting with you and any relevant staff as soon as possible to review what happened, understand the expectations around physical interaction in the classroom, and discuss how the school intends to ensure a safe and respectful learning environment for all students.
Please let me know your earliest availability. I appreciate your attention to this matter and look forward to resolving it collaboratively.
Sincerely,
Parent
We raised our concerns about the teacher's interactions with our child and asked for clear boundaries going forward.
During the meeting, the school did not agree to the specific boundaries we requested and said it would rely on the teacher's professional judgment.
After our child gave his account and left the meeting, we asked five prepared questions. The handwritten notes recorded during the meeting are reproduced below.
1. What was your reasoning for using physical contact - including kicking his foot and lifting his body - instead of verbal redirection?
Handwritten notes:
Because it works well for physical contact, close relationship with
children, rapport.
2. How does this approach align with the school's expectations around physical interaction, student safety, and maintaining dignity?
Handwritten notes:
Does not - not counter with child safety, specific rules, don't have it here.
3. How do you balance discipline with emotional safety, and how do you think your tone and actions are perceived by students?
Handwritten notes:
They are OK, humorous, jovial, not discipline, wanted for [Child] [unclear].
4. Regardless of the situation, what justified using physical force in a way that made our child feel unsafe?
Handwritten notes:
Not using physical force for child to feel unsafe.
5. What steps can be taken to ensure our child - and all students - feel physically safe and emotionally respected going forward?
Handwritten notes:
To you don't intend to change your style of teaching.
Additional handwritten statement:
Not angry, the kids are OK with it,
Teacher, very well liked by students, with humor.
The following statements were recollected and written down after the meeting. They are not a word-for-word transcript.
“Physical contact works well for rapport with students.”
“I’ve always taught this way.”
“I have 20 years of experience.”
“It was meant to be humorous and jovial.”
“The kids laugh when I make these kinds of jokes.”
“I didn’t intend for him to feel unsafe.”
“I don’t intend to change my teaching style.”
“This is how I connect with students.”
“If our child took it the wrong way, that wasn’t my intention.”
“I was just trying to lighten the mood.”
“Well, the incident was acknowledged.”
“We don’t see this as a major safety concern.”
“It doesn’t violate any child safety rules.”
“We haven’t had complaints about the teacher before.”
“Some families are perfectly fine with his teaching style.”
“Kids usually laugh when he makes those jokes.”
“This could have been resolved with a simple conversation.”
“We don’t want to micromanage a teacher’s classroom style.”
“We can’t commit to specific boundaries like that.”
“We’ll trust the teacher to use his professional judgment.”
“We’ve had a lot of complaints lately, but that’s unusual.”
“We’ve never had these issues before this year.”
“We can’t control how students interpret humor.”
“You should have talked to the teacher directly first.”
“This could have been resolved with a simple conversation.”
“If my son had been kicked by a teacher, I would ask what he did.”
We followed up in writing, asking for no physical contact, professional communication, protection from retaliation, and administrative oversight.
We said our child could return to the two classes once those boundaries were in place.
Dear Principal,
Thank you again for meeting with me yesterday. Following the written incident summary I provided during our meeting, I’m writing to summarize the safety boundaries and expectations that are necessary to ensure a safe and predictable environment for my child in both Latin and History, where he is taught by the same teacher.
While the incident itself was acknowledged during the meeting, the impact on my child was minimized and no specific safety boundaries were agreed upon.
For clarity and consistency going forward, I am documenting the expectations that are required for his return to these classes.
The following safety boundaries are necessary:
These expectations align with the school’s stated commitment to student dignity, emotional safety, and respectful conduct.
My child will return once these boundaries are in place so he can feel safe and supported in both classes.
If anything in this summary does not match your understanding, please let me know in writing.
Thank you,
Parent
The Board Chair described two paths: coming alongside the school in a spirit of “trust and grace,” or agreeing that this was not possible and parting ways.
Dear Parent,
At the end of our meeting on Thursday, I outlined to you the choice that is before your family: 1. To come alongside the school in a spirit of trust and grace in our joint endeavour to form your son according to Christian virtue; or 2. To agree that this is not possible and to part ways. Let me outline more clearly what either choice entails:
1. Partnership and trust, with grace, is what St. Timothy’s is all about, and so many families have found (and are finding) the effectiveness of this arrangement. Where discipline is concerned, this can only work when children make a real effort to abide by our code of conduct, and parents support teachers when their children receive correction.
My sense, based on your letter from Friday and the fact that you have already lodged half a dozen complaints against our staff in the past few months, is that you do not currently see the school as a trusted partner in forming your son, but as an adversary to be punished for every perceived mistake, and managed to prevent further transgressions. Your latest communication is an example of this: it represents an attempt to control the behaviour of everyone at the school towards your son, while neglecting to mention any standard of behaviour for him - aside from the expectation that he should never be made to feel uncomfortable by others as a result of the consequences of his actions. This reflects a misunderstanding of the ethos of the school.
In contrast, when my children have complained about incidents at school (which is inevitable), I have always supported the staff in front of my children, even the few times when I had significant reservations. In those instances I raised the issue with staff members personally to get more context, and they were more than willing to discuss these matters with me. Trust is a two-way street - a mutual trust that the teachers and I both have the best interests of the child in mind. And we are all aware of each others’ humanity and give grace when mistakes are made, which is also inevitable.
If this sounds like a better way of moving forward, I would be happy to meet with you personally (as a parent who had three children at the school for 12 years) to explain what a functional partnership looks like.
2. The only other option is a parting of ways. As I explained at our meeting, this is not about assigning blame - it is simply a recognition that we are not on the same path. If you do not trust the teachers and administration to provide for the safety of your children, why would you send them to our school? Although at this stage of the year, a withdrawing family should not expect any refund according to our withdrawal policy, as a gesture of goodwill on the part of the school, we would be willing to offer your family a pro-rated refund on your tuition, if this is your choice.
We would be thrilled if there is a true change of heart towards partnership, starting with a meeting with parents, like myself, who understand how this works. At the same time, we would be relieved if you decide to withdraw, because the burden of responding to these repeated complaints is not sustainable for our staff.
I have copied the Principal as well as another school representative on this email, who were both present at our meeting on Thursday.
We await your family’s response prayerfully,
Board Chair
ps.
I would just like to point out that every written communication that you have received from the school (including this one) over the past months has been thoughtfully crafted by a human, with significant thought and time investment (I am beyond 3 hours at this point, and my role as Chair is a volunteer position - I am also a full-time teacher and have a family with three teenagers). Meanwhile, your responses seem to be generated by an AI chatbot, giving us the impression (rightly or wrongly) that AI is feeding you what you want to hear with minimal engagement, effort, or thought on your part. Clearly, this is unhelpful in bringing us to a resolution.
Please: do not plug the text of this email into a chatbot and ask it to generate a reply; I will interpret such a reply as choosing Option 2 - a parting of ways.
I replied that I was pausing further discussion while focusing on ensuring our child felt safe, supported, and settled at school, and that I would reconnect after reviewing everything fully.
Dear Board Chair and Principal,
Thank you for your message. At this time, I am pausing further discussion while I focus on ensuring that my child feels safe, supported, and settled at school. I will reconnect once I have had the opportunity to review everything fully.
Sincerely,
Parent
I brought the children to school and was told to take them home.
According to my record of a private conversation with the Principal, I was told that I could not bring the children back unless “trust teacher” was acknowledged. When I asked why, the Principal responded that the school could not conduct classes “normally.” I asked the Principal to put this requirement in writing. I did not receive it in writing.
My wife wrote that we understood discipline and correction were part of growth and did not expect our son to be exempt from them. She asked that correction preserve his dignity and happen calmly and without physical contact.
Dear Board Chair,
We want to start by saying that we chose the school because we believe in its Christian mission and its desire to help children grow in wisdom and faith. We understand that discipline and correction are part of that growth, and we don't expect our son to be exempt from them.
At the same time, we care deeply about how that correction is given. It's very important to us that his dignity is preserved, and that he isn't corrected in ways that leave him embarrassed, since he already struggles socially.
As his parents, we see ourselves as sharing responsibility with the school in helping our child learn and grow from discipline. We appreciated your reminder that trust is a two-way street. For us, that trust includes knowing that correction will be given calmly and without physical contact.
When voices are raised or physical actions are used, it can make it harder for our child to understand what he's being corrected for and to grow from the experience. Our hope is simply that discipline can consistently happen in a way that helps him feel safe enough to reflect, learn, and do better.
We know that a true partnership takes humility, patience, and grace from everyone involved. We are open to continuing to reflect on how we can move forward together with greater understanding. We believe that Christian community calls us to speak with kindness, listen well, and keep the good of the child at the center of our decisions.
Our sincere hope is that there is a way forward that allows our child to continue growing at the school - spiritually, emotionally, and academically - in a place where he feels known, supported, and encouraged, even when he makes mistakes.
Child's Mother
The Board Chair wrote that, in the meantime, the school would not be able to receive our children.
Dear Parents,
Thank you for your reply, and for indicating your desire for a meeting to explore true partnership with St. Tim’s.
In my email, I indicated that a partnership “can only work when children make a real effort to abide by our code of conduct, and parents support teachers...”, and the rest of my email was focused on the parental support aspect of the partnership. At our meeting, we will also need to explore the first aspect: the child’s effort at disciplined conduct.
The Principal and I will plan the meeting to explore both of these subjects, with the aim of coming to an agreement about the future of your family at St. Timothy’s. In the meantime, we will not be able to receive your children at the school.
I have time to meet with both of you along with the Principal next Thursday at 3:15pm at the school. Please reply all to let us know if this time is convenient for you, or if we need to reschedule.
In Him,
Board Chair
Sent from my iPhone
On January 28, our children began attending another school.
Broader questions about discipline, student safety, dignity, and the relationship between teachers and children.
The six-page chronology includes the child's statement presented at the meeting, the January 6 email, meeting questions and notes, the January 9 safety-boundary request, the Board Chair's written response, and the later correspondence. Family identifiers are redacted.
OPEN FULL CHRONOLOGY ↗Parents may interpret these records differently. Our purpose is to make our family's experience and the supporting chronology available, rather than asking readers to rely on a slogan or a summary alone.